The moment I knew I was different: A story for the fight for inclusion

Growing up with a disability, you may sometimes feel like you are different from your peers. Briar, an adult with cerebral palsy, writes about how she grew to understand that others around her may perceive her differently, and how she handled those perceptions.  

As I sat on the bus on my way home from school the reality that I was 'different' to everyone else became apparent.  I sat with another girl at the front of the bus in the area normally reserved for people with disabilities. She commented, “It was fine for me to sit here because of my hips”. I smiled confused as to what she meant, but then it dawned on me that I was 'different'; I had a disability. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I realised just how much having a disability made you 'different' to others, and that life would be spent fighting to be included. 

My cerebral palsy was so mild to begin with that it didn’t really register with me that I was 'different' to my peers. I knew that I had a lot more medical appointments and that all the physical therapy hurt a lot. I knew that my handwriting was terrible, and that I must be slightly 'different' to others as I got to type all my work at school. I still ran around and played just like everyone else and participated in things I could do, but it wasn’t until that moment on the bus that I realised that I was a person with a disability.

At that moment, I was determined that I wasn’t going to define myself by my disability. What I didn’t realise was how the world would define me by my disability. I was going to study hard, do my best at school, go to university and start a career, all of which I achieved, despite many people telling me I wouldn’t be able to do so. However, as I grew older, I developed more chronic health conditions.  With every passing year and new diagnosis, my hopes and dreams of having a 'normal life' seemed to disappear.

I have found myself in and out of employment, as I've struggled to find suitable jobs for a person with multiple health conditions. The barriers to employment come from some employers not being willing to provide flexible employment. It can also come from health professionals believing that I'll never be in a position to work.  I've seen that community attitudes towards people with disabilities, no matter how mild the disability, has left me on the outside unable to ever feel fully part of a community. 

I have tried my best to show people that despite having cerebral palsy, I think, feel and experience the ups and downs of life just like everyone else. Having cerebral palsy automatically makes you 'different' in the eyes of some people. It can leave you on the outside looking in, wearied by the fight to be included. I have experienced the hardships and discrimination that come with being a person with a disability, yet been robbed of developing relationships with people like me because my disability is so mild. At times it has left me feeling isolated and lonely, but it has also given me a reason to get up each morning and continue the fight for change to occur so that people with disabilities can be included in the world in which we all live.

If you need help with managing your mental health and wellbeing, we have a number of information resources available on our site. Visit the Mental Health section for more information on the tools and resources available to support you. We also have a section dedicated specifically to work on our website, so if you are looking for more resources around work and employment, you can find them here.