Briar, an adult with cerebral palsy, reflects on discovering the importance of self-care and how this was made part of her weekly routine.

I first heard of the concept of self-care when I completed a social work degree in my early twenties. To me it sounded like a very self-focused thing to do, and I couldn't work out why it was presented as an important thing to do, in a degree that was meant to equip you to help other people. I didn’t really focus on self-care during my days as a social worker and as a result got very sick and ended up changing my career path. It has only been in the last several years I have seen the importance of self-care, particularly as a person with cerebral palsy.

This is particularly the case, if you have other medical conditions that may or may not be a direct result of your cerebral palsy. This means that you are often on what I call the "merry-go-round" of appointments. You have your essential weekly appointments often with allied health professionals. Then you have your GP and specialist appointments that aren’t on a weekly basis but frequent enough, and by the time you add multiple specialists into the equation, you can be averaging two or three medical appointments per week.

The merry-go-round of appointments can often be draining. You have so many people giving you an opinion as to what is happening to your body and what you should be doing about it. Some appointments can look at every aspect of your life. You come away feeling as if a magnifying glass has been pointed onto your life, often resulting in a growing list as to what is ‘wrong’ with your body. Nobody gives you a crash course into how to handle the constant assessment of your body and what you need to do to manage your cerebral palsy. It’s a thing you learn on the way, as you enter into adulthood and start attending more and more appointments by yourself. 

The more appointments and therapy sessions I attended, the more depressed I felt. It seemed an overwhelming task of doing every exercise I am told to do to maintain my physical and mental health.

What I did learn through this was the importance of self-care. Self-care is the process of stepping back from the endless merry-go-round of appointments to do what you want to do. For me the process began by finding 5 or 10 minutes in my day to just breathe and not think about what is wrong with my body and what I need to do to maintain stability. That grew to watching a TV show or movie, not just to escape and numb the pain of life but because I enjoyed the show and my mind was engaged. From there I started to do activities at home, which were initially mindfulness activities to help my mental health, but eventually grew into activities I really enjoyed and became part of a self-care routine.

I then decided to have one day a week where I would try and avoid scheduling a medical appointment if I could. Friday’s then became ‘Friday fun-day’ where I did horse-riding in the morning and an art class in the afternoon. It meant that I had one day where I didn’t feel that my life was under a microscope, where I was forced to focus on everything that was wrong with my body, but in fact I was undertaking fun activities that ultimately helped my balance, coordination and fine-motor skills. These activities benefited my body and still helped me practice self-care. 

By taking a moment to complete a self-care activity, I have gained a healthier perspective on my cerebral palsy and the ‘exercises’ that I need to do for my body to function as best it can. Self-care enables me to take a step-back and focus on things in life that provide me with pleasure and enjoyment. By focusing inwardly for a period of time, I am in a better position to focus outwardly and give time and attention to people around me. Helping others has always been important to me, but now I know self-care is equally important. 

For more information about managing well-being and mental health for people with cerebral palsy, My CP Guide has curated resources on a variety of topics for all ages: Health and wellbeing